:: ebb and flow

Life is full of changes. Relationships ebb and flow. The danger rests not in the valleys, but in losing hope that you will not see a summit again. 

Remain committed. Remain moving towards your tomorrow, learning from yesterday to make it better…more resilient, and strikingly beautiful. 

No one has arrived. We are all emerging. Transforming. Renewing. 

:: BDSM on a Budget (Bondage Furniture)


I’m sure we would all love a room filled with a collection of toys and furniture that would rival any dungeon. Most; however, have things like a budget to consider. Not to mention explaining to your kids why they had to give up a bedroom that is always locked, LOL.

One of the main concerns about BDSM furniture is that it only has one purpose. And while that purpose is fucking amazing, it’s often hard to justify spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a spanking bench or table.

img_0168The bondage bench on the right is a very simple piece, but still, people may be concerned with having hooks and d rings that to us have obvious intentions. An alternative might be a simple shoe shelf. shoe shelf

tumblr_miqilyucep1rkg6ufo1_500This low profile table looks stunning, plus it could be hidden under the bed pretty easily; however, again, if your concerned about spending probably $500 on it, think outside of the box and consider a mechanics creeper.


workout benchUse an adjustable weight bench for lots of fun as a bondage table. You can set it to flat, incline or decline positions, and there are plenty of places to secure those arms and legs.

Need a spanking bench? Consider an inexpensive foot stool like the one below.


No matter what kind of furniture you want, there will be an alternative that will be a fraction of the cost, plus it will have more than one purpose. You don’t have to break the bank to have a little fun.


:: BDSM Routines – The Good & Bad & the Ugly

My buddy Webster defines routines like this:

a sequence of events regularly followed; a fixed system

images-1A routine in and of itself isn’t bad. Many find they need a little structure to define or enhance the dynamic. And clearly a routine can do just that. A lot of people want to be in better shape – they want to go to the gym, they want to walk or jog more, they want to lose a few pounds or see some more definition. And so they go to the gym once, maybe for a month, and then….

The desire – the goal didn’t disappear; but without a solid routine, it is very hard to flesh out. We need some accountability, because life happens. We need a partner so we don’t go at it alone.

muscle selfieAnd then, there’s this guy. The guy who is so stuck on his routine, so fixated on what he wants that nothing else matters. His goal comes first. It becomes obsessive. Addictive. To the point where it’s obviously not healthy.

It all kind of goes back to what our goals are. If they are inherently selfless – then a pattern that can flex and change with life can be a beautiful and healthy thing. If at the end of the day, it is selfish, then the pattern will bear selfish fruit.

In a D/s dynamic, many people want to add some structure, some routine, and that can be a good thing – but don’t get stuck to the point where the pattern isn’t fulfilling. You need to be able to deal with life as well. And sometimes, you need to make changes.

Communicating with your partner openly and honestly can help you gauge where you both are at. Don’t take each other for granted. Don’t let the pattern overtake the reason for the pattern.

The origin of this word routine, is route. If we remember that, we can make positive routines in our lives – it’s the path we are on, taking us where we want to go. We can change lanes, we can speed up or slow down. We can take detours or alternative roads, but we stay on the path that is taking you where you want to go. And most importantly – have fun!