A year ago, we started our conversation by going through a checklist and figuring out what our limits were. After we rekindled the conversation this year, we kind of did the same thing.
Interestingly, most of the limits disappeared. That didn’t meant that everything was going to come easy. And what it really meant to me, was that I had a responsibility as Kasai’s Dom to lead and guide us in this journey.
I also wrote three rules and established some protocols to help define those rules. I intentionally didn’t share all of the protocols, but I did share the rules:
Be graciously submissive. Be vulnerable and honest. And be intoxicated (have fun). These three rules seemed to offer our canvas some vivid color without striking hard details. Kasai was going to be my sub – she needed to submit to my every desire within the limits of our agreement. She needed to be open to expanding horizons of pleasure and pain – but she needed to be open and honest about where she is at too. And she needed to have fun.
Even before I returned, my Kasai began submitting – she practiced her submissive positions – she worked on our bedroom, and she took care of other areas – all things I told I wanted her to do.
Even in these small moments of submission, I felt closer to her.
Everyone’s path is going to have varying degrees of limits, rules, and protocols. The one key element in establishing them is communication. Kasai and I have definitely come along way in our communication skills, and we’ve learned than many of the barriers of talking about these (and other) issues were mainly in our own head.