Kasai and I have a D/s relationship. We can’t wrap our heads around the use of the word slave, because of what it means to us – for others who can we say: cool. We have no issues with it – so long as it is in fact consensual, and not in fact, slavery.
Kasai is my submissive. As my submissive, she desires to follow my direction and leading. She is not my submissive when it comes to a lot of how we connect – though I should say there are many ways in which we are mutually submissive, that’s a response to how we have connected for many years – we each desire to live for and please the other.
When it comes to our sexuality, I am her Dominant. Kasai navigates through my leading very well – she pleases me greatly. That doesn’t mean that she isn’t free to make decisions in this respect either. I want Kasai to creatively express her submission, because in this, is the true essence of submission.
As Kasai’s Dom, I also know that every expression isn’t going to be perfect – and as her Dom, I want to encourage her, so while I may correct her, I need to be attentive to her intention and heart and not over correct. If I was her Master, I wouldn’t be so concerned, I would just get the whip and give her 40 lashes.
While there is some reconciliation in discipline, a Dom is more mindful of the longterm affects and uses the appropriate correction for the infraction. But what a Dom really wants, is for the submissive to eagerly find ways to express their submission, because the Dom knows she finds value in and through the act.
Kasai and I (like any other D/s or M/s couple) have taken bits and pieces of many things and fused them together to make them our own. Our D/s will continue to emerge and refine itself.