:: BDSM Training – Thoughts on Training

imagesA few thoughts on training.

One of the things I realized is that no one was really talking about the importance of training.

Sure, you could find people who mention it, or say it was “needed”; however, there seemed to be no real substance. And what was there was only in relation to things like anal sex or deep throating.

Not thinking about training, it’s purpose, value, and importance can cause a lag – at least it did with me. Because I knew where I wanted us to be, but I didn’t know “how” to get there.warren-william-mind-reader

Kasai isn’t a mind reader. So if I want to lead us somewhere, I have to lay out a path for us to walk on.

I feel it’s best to train on one area at a time – and that each area should build into the next. Everyone’s dynamic is different, but this doesn’t take away from the rewards of it.

There are essential elements to all training, and tons of things to train on, and I hope to discuss some more details later, but here’s a small snapshot:

normal-cover-1-682x1024Self Confidence, Self Image, Communication, Protocols, Receiving Pain, Public Expressions, and of course things more sexual in nature. And each one of these and others can be broken down into different specific elements.

I recommend developing a plan as you continue to emerge. By doing so, you can reach milestones and have something both can be proud of. A sub wants to please – so provide a pathway, and opportunity to do so – and – achieve new things.

I’d like to spend upwards of 2 months per area – although the training shouldn’t be time based. Sit down with your sub and explain what your goals or end states are. If you say “I want you/I/we to be able to do XYZ”  – and yet you achieve it – then think of the confidence, pleasure, enjoyment, deeper connection, etc that comes from it.

If you try do force all of it at one time, you may catch yourself trying to make shit up. And once you do that – your lover will know, because you won’t really be there. It can feel like your trying to just go through the motions.

And while those “motions” may be phenomenal and exciting, it’s not on the same level.

Just a few thoughts for now.

5 thoughts on “:: BDSM Training – Thoughts on Training

  1. I know that I certainly fare much better when I have a clear path to follow and I think a specific goal statement would help. Sometimes general ideas are overwhelming for me. You have some good thoughts here! Passing this along…


    1. Coach- your words sound like the primer for my last review from my boss- “attainable, specific, relevant, measurable and time based” was exactly how it was worded with respect to this years goals. “And remember form follows function” were the parting words of wisdom from the VP of my region.

      But it’s all true. You’ve made reference to this a few times in what you’ve written- and biblically, it is further stated “the people without vision shall perish” for there is nothing to look forward to.

      I think this last one hits home for me as watch my aging parents who’s aspirations are crossword puzzles and beer, followed by who’s gonna host which holiday and what’s on the menu. That’s it. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that, including the beer, but everything in moderation so as not over indulge. But they won’t listen to reason and they have no goals nor desire to make any. So it’s true, if I/we/she has something to look forward to, to drive and thrive towards, then you evolve.

      ED- well stated, thanks for the gentle nudge for us all. Coach- excellent points- good info to have in place for your life no matter your desires. Thanks for opening the door on this subject.

      -Mynx’s Sir (Tom Wolf)


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