:: D/s Training know where you are

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI learned a long time ago that when it comes to land navigation, the first step is knowing where you are.

If I’m out in the wilderness, I can know this by a couple of different ways. I could utilize my map and use terrain association – that is, I find things on the map that I can recognize and orient myself. This is the most difficult of all the methods, but it’s the one skill that sets people apart.

Before you can set out on any path – you have to know where you are. Part of this implies knowing where you have been. It requires some introspection about who you are as well. You have to be able to question yourself – and be able to answer those questions.

In the wild – it could be life or death.

In a relationship, it could mean growth or separation.

In D/s it can lead to an extreme level of intimacy or it could lead to ruin.

If you use the power of google, you can find all kind of lists and questionnaires to help discover some of these questions. Though Kasai and I have used similar ones, we had been married for a long time prior to our entering into a Dominant and submissive relationship. Still – the conversation was needed.

To make assumptions can lead to….well, you know.

I’ve been in the wild training people on how to use basic and advanced navigation techniques, and a lot of people make a common mistake. They look to see where they are before they set off – but they don’t continue to monitor where they are along the way.

You see, knowing where you are isn’t a one time movement – it’s a constant. You can set off, thinking your on the right course, and end up lost.

You can begin your D/s thinking you know where you are going, and find yourself lost in the mix.

Never stop questioning yourself – never stop having the conversation with your partner. Don’t allow assumptions or things unspoken to ruin what you cherished.


3 thoughts on “:: D/s Training know where you are

    1. communication is key in a vanilla relationship – it can make or break them. sometimes, i think in whatever flavor of D/s someone finds themselves in, it can be a trap to not talk – which can be deadly as well. glad you two are talking though! like anything, it’s a process – as long as you keep moving together, the bumps work themselves out.


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