:: D/s Training Where you are going

looking at mapOnce you know where you are, you have to figure out where you want to go.

This is part of the problem with the majority of the BDSM community, especially for those who may be considering or just entreating the lifestyle – it’s that they show an “end state” which normally consists of anal sex, deep throating, bondage, spanking, squirting, cock sucking, amazing positions, toys galore, suspension, mouth fucking, rope and a lot of other yummy stuff.

I want to take Kasai to a couple foreign countries that I’ve been to, and some that I haven’t. Right now – I could care less where exactly we go – just so long as we are together, and make it there. Now that I know the bigger picture of where we are going – then I can start to figure out the smaller picture.

The problem with the porn – a) it’s all sex, and b) it’s an exact address.

On it simply being about sex. Kinky sex is awesome, if that’s all that you want. But any form of D/s, M/s, TIH, power exchange (total or otherwise), and others is more than kinky sex.

There are countless recipes of how each relationship works, but they all involve more than sex. And most websites fail to talk about that, or if they do, they simply talk about micromanaging. Still, you have to consider more than the actual moments of sex when trying to figure out where you want to go.

How about the exact address? My friend tells me to come to their place in San Antonio. I have an address – but how the hell do I get there? See, I know the end state, but what I need are some check points along the way – I need to start planning. 1381514025_san_antonio_riverwalk

And again, this is where all of that awesome BDSM porn leaves you hanging. This is where the vast majority of websites and books leave empty pages and white space. Because what’s painted is an arrival destination, but they aren’t talking about the trip itself.

You have to know where you’re going. And in some ways its good that you can so easily see some finished products. Though, I should also caution, that you will never actually arrive – 1 year, 5 years, 10 years – you will always be emerging.

But any form of BDSM isn’t like buying a house – it’s like building and maintaining one. construction


2 thoughts on “:: D/s Training Where you are going

  1. Great post Sir! Sometimes the trip itself is better than the destination! And then throw into the mix wrong turns (bad choices)and getting lost (out of sync) and the trip can be a challenge! Maybe someone needs to invent a gps for BDSM!


    1. The journey can be mixed with moments of challenge – but it’s through the challenge that a deeper level of trust and commitment are found. A GPS would avoid all pitfalls, and would seem nice, but this, like life itself, is a beautiful mess. As long as you keep moving together and never give up – it gets better with age!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s