Don’t misunderstand me, I’m a man – and at the end of the day, I can only talk from my experience and speculations about emotions. But it’s worth discussing, even if it is incomplete.
Lovers want to please their partner, but in most relationships it seems that sex is something that isn’t really discussed – it is something that is experienced and accepted…I hope that makes sense.
In a D/s relationship, sex is talked bout upfront, during, and afterwards. In fact – everything erotic is talked bout. It’s not something we “just do”. Hopes, dreams, longings, desires, goals are discussed. Directions are given. There is lead and follow.
In this level of active communication about something so naturally intimate, emotions can fluctuate even greater. The sub truly desires to please their Dom.
Whether or not the emotions are valid doesn’t always matter – what matters is that as a Dom you recognize that they exist, and discuss them when felt. A submissive may feel like they are not good enough – and you know that the feeling shouldn’t be felt (because you are more than happy), so you must decide how to deal with it.
In an M/s relationship it might be easier – you punish the slave for the emotion. But in a D/s, it would be wiser to at the same time inform the sub that not only they are wrong – that you are satisfied, but that the emotion is also inappropriate. It isn’t done easily.
Is the emotions always wrong? Not necessarily – situation dictates. How can it be wrong? If it in anyway detracts from the Dominate partners intentions or desires. If a sub completes a task, and the Dom is satisfied, but the sub feels down the sub needs to realize that this emotion should transform itself into pleasure for meeting the original intent.
But the biggest thing to remember, is that the situation will dictate how to handle it. You shouldn’t squash emotions. It would also be unwise to disregard them all together. A strong Dom would allow their sub to discuss these feelings and work through them.
Just remember, a submissive needs to feel wanted – and fuel if you fuel that need – you will feed needed. A Dom needs to feel needed – if you fuel that need – you will feel wanted.