:: Via Negativa

Latin for the “negative way”, via negativa is the process of knowing something, by knowing what it is not. I thought I’d share a few posts on what I and Kasai are not, to share what we are.

Disclaimer: simply because we are not a specific way doesn’t mean that I/we don’t condone how others construct their relationships.

Domestic Discipline

domestic disciplineWhile there are many forms of DD, they pretty much share one thing in common – one of the individuals in the relationship is given authority over the other, and a means of enforcing that authority – typically spanking. Beyond things sexual in nature, a DD relationship involves more of the every day life. Should the submissive partner make a mistake – for example in the picture above, the dominate may use a spanking for discipline and correction. Fuck up dinner – spanking. Argue with the dominant – spanking. Put too much starch in the collar – spanking. Wrong type of coffee – spanking.

I tend to relate a DD relationship as a Master/slave light – the partners typically don’t use the words “master” or “slave”, but for the most part they share very similar attributes.

As I said, every DD relationship is different, but typically this the norm. It centers more on one of the partners being submissive in every aspect. Kasai and I are not a DD.

For years, Kasai made a lot of decisions for us – as I placed her wants and desires ahead of mine, and that took a toll. I can remember a few times when she would look at me and say “Just make a decision”. Kasai doesn’t want to make all the decisions, and I’m not going to say absolutely that in the future we may or may not add some areas into our structure; however, I’m not going to bend her over m knee if she burns my dinner. Again – that’s just us.

I can understand why a couple might be in a DD though. It could be because of religious or cultural reasons. Or it could be to add ‘something’ (be it structure, a connection, leading/being led, etc) to the marriage. I would only caution against any flavor of DD that results in one partner becoming less than the other.

3 thoughts on “:: Via Negativa

  1. Sir and I are not in a DD relationship either, and he won’t spank me for burning his dinner, but what will get me over his knee quicker than anything is my snarky mouth! And if we’re in public or a vanilla setting…. I get the eye of disappointment, and when I present at bedtime, I will be reminded of my snarky tone and words…. And well you know the rest!

    Hugs, Mynx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s