Seems a lot of people try to blur the two together. Others simply use spanking as a means of punishment – even though it’s more of a pleasure to most submissives (and Dom’s as well). Thought I would share a few words on how I look at the difference between them and a couple other similar areas.
First, I’d like to talk about spankings in general. I love giving them. Kasai gets soaking wet over them. I mean dripping, saturated, soaked, and desperate for more over them. Did I mention that she loves getting spanked?
It’s probably similar to how most feel. And we should remember that.
Discipline is a system of behaviors and actions that one lives to show obedience, respect, and adoration. It takes discipline to stay in a submissive position. It takes discipline to act upon receiving direction, even if it’s something we may not want to do. And these things reflect how we feel about the other. That’s from the submissives story.
The Dom side of the picture is from the dispensing end. We discipline our subs by showing, demonstrating, and instructing our sub. We discipline our subs by respecting them and being patient as needed.
To be certain – there will be moments when things aren’t just right. Maybe the position is wrong, or there is a sigh, or look, or other similar element that demonstrates something is off. How we handle these situations can be very important.
Some would resort to a quick spanking. But I think it’s good to draw a distinction between corrective training and punishment. Corrective training is the means and methods used to correct a deficient behavior. Spending extra time on a particular area. Assigning some reading or writing. Doing things again until it’s corrected. It’s not “punishment” in the true sense.
Punishment is on a different level. It is more severe, it can be difficult, and it often takes away something from the sub. If I were to use a spanking on Kasai for a punishment, it would be with the paddle, and she wouldn’t like it at all. But I would so sparingly – because I don’t want her to associate spanking with punishment. That would be like kicking your dog every time she brought you the newspaper.
Punishment doesn’t have to be a spanking. In fact, more often than not – it probably shouldn’t be. But we are often to quick to think about it, so we just use it as a go to method. I’ve learned that the best punishments relate to the infraction. After all, we want to see some correction.
After punishing, you also need to be attentive to the submissives mindset – true punishment can break things we don’t want broken. It can push away rather than draw closer. Just as we are aware of the sub-drop during a scene and care for her afterwards, we also need to be aware that after punishing, some after-care may be necessary.
Just a few thoughts….