:: Planned Training

obedience1Yesterday was some thoughts on OTS, today I’ll share some on Planned Training. As I have mentioned several times in earlier posts, training is an essential part of a D/s relationship. But it’s one of the most neglected in media – be it books, video, the web, etc. It seems nobody talks bout it, other than to say, you should do it.

Rather, you’re given an image, a picture and you’re left trying to figure it out. This builds frustration and anxiety as you don’t simply wake up one day and magically have things happen. Yes, it’s true that every D/s is different, but certainly there are some principles that could apply to all/most?

A Dom needs to be patient and methodical. You have to think about the things you want. You need to research, plan, and coordinate. Think big – think small.

Ask yourself, where do you want to be in a year? How can that image be broken down into subgroups? Any relationship – and especially any D/s is complex – there are different components. What can you do regarding those sub areas to create scenes or moments to train your sub on it?

In most D/s relationships you have elements of cock/pussy ‘worship’, obedience, receiving pain, rough sex, anal sex, service, communication protocols, submissive positions, fetishes, and it goes on…

Now, in that one paragraph, I listed 9 areas. So, if I took my ideal of each one, and said “this is what I want to see”, I could develop a plan to navigate. It’s better for your plan to be goal based – not time based. In other words, don’t tie yourself to one session, if it takes 2 months, that’s okay.

It’s best to focus on one area at a time. Take that subgroup and look at where you are at right now and where you’d like to be. Develop scenes to focus on them, have your sub read specific articles or watch specific videos and write about it. Talk about it, it’s okay to let your submissive know a little about what you’re doing. Give her the end state – if she knows, she will probably be paying more attention and be find more enjoyment.

The training should be attainable and realistic. Some areas might be easier than others to develop a training plan. But none are impossible. It just takes a little time and creativity.

“If I’m focused on the 1 area, how do I handle the rest”, you ask? Don’t neglect them – play around in and with them. Just enjoy where you are at with them for the moment.

At the end, celebrate and reward.

2 thoughts on “:: Planned Training

  1. Reblogged this on There is ALWAYS time for Coffee and commented:
    Well, as I reblogged the last article on oct, I thought it appropriate to reblogged this too.

    I agree the need to focus on one aspect of training at a time, but without letting other areas slide. I also agree on goal rather than time bound achievements. Mind you, having a timescale allows one to move to another area and perhaps return later to add finesse to a previously achieved goal!


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