Well, not everything….lol. In a post a few days ago, I shared a little about anal orgasms, but I thought I’d back up a little further and explore some thoughts about anal play and sex in more general terms.
Be clean. Clean toys, fingers, and your ass. You can use an enema, but it’s not required. That said, having a bowel movement prior to makes things….well, emptier. If you’re trying to go from ass to anywhere wear a condom or perform a two stage enema. You either need to prep in the moment or before the moment, but proper prepping is critical either way.
Lubricate! Lubricant can make or break anal sex. If one doesn’t work, don’t be afraid to try a different type. Experiment with water based or silicon based lubes. Not every person has the same reaction to different lubricants, so what works best for one, may not be so good for another.
Communicate. If something feels great, tell your partner! If something feels off, different, or if it just down right hurts, say that too! Need more lube? Let your partner know. Need it a little slower or softer? How about taking it harder? Same thing – let your partner know.
Is it the “tightness” that makes guys want to explore anal sex? Is it because it’s taboo that makes a woman desire to see what it feels like? While these may have some strong elements, I think at a deeper level, there is something more.
For me, anal shares a similar intimacy as oral. Anal play is very pleasurable for Kasai, and I enjoy satisfying her. But it’s more than the pleasure – there is a demonstration of Dominance as well as submission. But even deeper – there is a level of trust that draws us in.
There is a very high concentration of nerve endings in and around the rectum. For guys, the prostate gland is right there, and for the women anal play and sex stimulates many sensitive spots.
Unlike the vagina, the rectum isn’t straight, and it isn’t self-lubricating. There are two sphincters muscles that must be relaxed for insertion to be pleasurable. The outer sphincter is easier to control, but the internal one is classified as an involuntary muscle, meaning you can’t relax it like you do your fist into an open hand. The relaxation needs to be genuine. That’s where trust comes into play. The internal sphincter is about 6mm inside the anus, and is the primary source for pain during anal sex. But with proper training, relaxation and trust, there can be a tremendous amount of pleasure!
Use small butt plugs and incorporate anal play. But (no pun intended), make sure anything you use in your ass was intended for anal play – it should have a wide base so that it doesn’t disappear, and you don’t end up in the ER. Fingers are a great option as well (plus you don’t have to worry about them going missing!). Whatever you use, make sure you use a good lubricant.
While using body parts or toys, incorporate other pleasurable activities at the same time. The mind associates things together – so if you experience an orgasm while having your ass stimulated (even if the orgasm was caused by another means) – your body will begin to associate anal play with pleasure in new ways.
Have fun! Exploring your sexuality includes a lot of different areas, and anal is one of them. Sex should be sexy! It should be fun and exciting. It should lead to a deeper bond. It should feel really fucking good too!