:: Domestic Violence

4231056The past two posts were about demonstrating Dominance and submission and over the past week, I’ve shared a few search words that people have used to find their way to emergingDom. Searches about some consensual kinkery that made for fun reading posts.

Sadly, not every search word(s) have been that way. There have been a few about “extreme punishment” phrases. I think there are probably more cases than we are aware of that under the guise of some sort of domestic discipline, D/s, or M/s the reality is domestic violence.

And I wanted to take a minute on this Monday morning to say that BDSM must be consensual. If it’s not – then it’s abuse.

Any relationship that is forged in any type of physical, emotional, or spiritual abuse is wrong. Sometimes, a “dominant” might try to use their power in selfish ways and mistreat their partner – but that’s NOT what a Dominant does. Sometimes, the abuse may start out as a slight of hand – and grow over time.

There are tons of resources out there, if you or someone you know is being abused. Abuse isn’t something you put up with. I know that it can be difficult to get out of an abusive relationship – sometimes you may feel stuck or like there is no way out. But there is help – there are people whose heart beats to assist those trying to get out.

Below are a few resources:





Domestic Violence Hotline 1800-799-7233

From the UK – 0808 2000 247

From Austrailia – 1800 737 732

11 thoughts on “:: Domestic Violence

  1. Spot on my friend! And may I add, if you’re the abuser, there’s help too. It’s a chronic disease which can cripple you in ways unimaginable. Get help before you make more scars, including on your own life.

    The BDSM community isn’t tolerant of abusers at all. It’s not what this society is about, it doesn’t define us. It’s not who we are. It is not acceptable.

    Great post Sir, thank you for sharing!

    -Love Passionately-

    -Tom Wolf (Mynx’s Sir)


      1. Yes, we all made it through the storm but not without individual emotional “scars” – we are all working them out. Thank you for your kind words.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I have always enjoyed your posts and the information that you provide but this is something that we can all learn from. I have been fortunate not to experience it but I don’t approve of any type of domestic violence. Thank you for sharing this information and the resources with everyone. Very well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This can’t be stressed enough. My mother and two of my brothers abused me. It’s not just men who abuse physically. What is never discussed is that men who abuse more than likely abused a sister at home growing up. Abuse starts early.

    Abuse will play on your pride and the abuser knows how to use that weapon well. I am sure there are female abusers in the BDSM community whose subs would never come forward.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So true Elle! Regardless of the relationship type – abuse should never be tolerated, and it can be very difficult for people to seek help for so many reasons. But it’s not something that people should think they need to endure – help is out there! And we too – shouldn’t be bystanders if we witness any level of abuse.


      1. You said it with bystanders. I had bystanders who did nothing for fear of having my family torn apart. But now I have a brother who is 50 years old and hits women. He’s never served any jail time. Everyone has let him get away with it. My husband won’t let him near me. The whole family is mad at me because of that. Abusers somehow get defended and victims are blamed. I worked in Probabtion and this was a common theme.


      2. Elle, I’m floored at the history and the response but am so glad to that Coach has your best interests in heart. I hope that peace and reconciliation springs forth into the whole family.


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