:: BDSM Bondage Safety

As I mentioned in my previous post – safety is paramount during any kind of bondage play. At a minimum, the Dominant should have a pair of EMT scissors or knife available in addition to having other items needed depending on the location and duration of the bondage. For example, for an extended period, having food and water.

When exploring bondage, it’s best to practice on something other than a person. You don’t want to make a mistake when securing the rope on the submissive. You can’t learn how to “do” bondage by reading a book, you have to “do” it. Even watching a video isn’t going to teach you – you have to experience it. That said – I highly recommend reading books and watching videos, but you will need practice to become proficient.

There needs to be constant communication and supervision. Never leave someone who is bonded alone for any extended period of time. If while being bound, the submissive feels “bad pain” – speak up. It’s too easy to make a simple adjustment in the ropes. The Dom should continue to ask and ensure everything is going well.

I enjoy seeing the marks left in Kasai’s skin after she’s been bound – but bondage should never be so tight that it cuts off circulation of blood. You might be surprised to know that even if you can stick 1-2 fingers in between the ropes and the skin it can still be restraining to the submissive.

I realize that there is a lot of imagery including severe breast bondage, but if you’re cutting off circulation you can cause severe damage – so don’t do it. As a general rule, you can press on a finger nail to watch and see how long it takes the original color to return. If it takes more than a few seconds to return to normal, circulation may be impaired. Don’t tie off at joints such as the elbow or knee.

Until you and your partner are very comfortable with the particular bondage you are attempting, don’t mix gags in with it. If something begins to go wrong, the submissive needs to be able to communicate quickly.

Suspension bondage is beautiful – but is an advanced form. Actually, anything that raises arms overhead can have similar consequences. Blood flow is restricted in these scenarios and will require much more skill and supervision – and a healthy dose of patience. You don’t rush bondage.

Bondage is a great thing to explore, but don’t feel like you have to rush in. Do so safely, practice a lot, and enjoy it.

6 thoughts on “:: BDSM Bondage Safety

  1. My Sir is into suspension and He is slowly starting to suspend me to get me comfortable. I like it, and it is beautiful. Thank you for your blog. It is really helpful to see how other Dominant’s react to things.
    petal.

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  2. Another great post, WOW! You’re logic is right on in this one ED…

    I love Shibari- and in addition to your spot on advice, I would also say that your sub-miss must be on your page. Communication. Pleasure. Submission. Domination. And did I say pleasure?

    It must be pleasurable for both parties because clearly this isn’t a one-way street. Restraining is so very different from Shibari in just the time factor alone. A sub-miss can be restrained in seconds by Velcro cuffs, while Shibari takes time and produces so many new sensations. If all your sub-miss seeks is to be restrained, she may not have the patience for Shibari. Communicate about it though and see where each is on the subject, it’s not for everyone.

    Starting simple is the key to success though, maybe a simple calf-wrap or forearm-wrap is all that’s needed for immobilization. Advance a bit and take the forearm to the calf on each side. Add in a spreader bar for easier access to her pink bits. But have a plan or a goal for each session, when you get there, stop. Reward her by getting her off. Unwrap. Talk about it.

    From our talks, I’ve discovered Mynx loves the wrap part but didn’t like being pulled because of the strain on her wrists. We purchased high quality suspension mitts complete with D rings. Happy Mynx. These gave her the confidence to allow for further stretching exploration, and explore we have! 🙂

    Safety safety safety. Conversation. Pleasure. It can be tremendously pleasurable but only if both are into it and her safety is of paramount importance. No drinking and Tying. Yes, EMT scissors, always. Make it fun, but like anything else, do it in steps- not all at once. I’ve often thought about buying a mannequin and practicing on it. Great post again ED…

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    1. Spot on Tom!
      Having goals is so fitting, and makes learning bondage easier. I couldn’t agree more on the difference between restraints and shibari as well – we enjoy both.
      And seeking solutions to help in the process is such a great sign of being a leader and finding ways to continue. I would add, that while many may not be able to purchase high quality products – that’s okay, start with what you can and work from there. If it ends up being something you want to continue to invest in, go for it, but don’t break the bank either (not suggesting that was your intent).
      Having a mannequin would be a great idea – I’ll share some simple knots, wraps, fraps, and the like – but you can only learn by doing, by practicing.
      Bondage on any level should be fun and enjoyable for both – it’s a great way to deepen bonds of trust and the overall sexual connection.
      Thanks again Tom!

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