Gallup polls tell us that the majority of Americans have some form or another of a spiritual leaning. While this ins’t surprising to me, I think we can see how it affects the world of D/s pretty easily.
You see, if I walk into a bookstore, I’m going to find a few shelves filled with books about sex – all kinds of books – about all kinds of sex. But if I walk into a “christian bookstore”, It’s unlikely I’ll find one.
Sexuality is in every vein of life – television, fashion & style, the internet, physical elements, books, emotional aspects, magazines, health & fitness, movies, and it goes on and on. In spite of it being everywhere you look, because it is a taboo topic for most people, because it’s taboo in the church.
This isn’t a new phenomenon. For ages, the church has pretty much declared that if you’re not married sex is wrong – if you masturbate it’s a sin – if you fuck for any reason other than to procreate it’s not right – if it’s in anything else other than vaginal sex it’s immoral, and btw, sleep in separate beds.
Now, I’m not suggesting that sex needs to be the #1 or even #10 top thing the church talks about – but when the only way it can talk about it is negatively, then everything about sex becomes unnatural.
From anal to oral – from self pleasure to the enjoyment of “pain” – from the use of toys to the any kind of kink. Obviously then any form of D/s is out of the picture. It’s all wrong and sinful.
There doesn’t seem to exist a language to talk about sexuality in a positive way.
Our sexuality is linked to our emotional, physical, mental, and social and spiritual aspects of our health. Sexual expressions are an overflow of our values and beliefs about ourselves and our partner.
We aren’t raised with clear guidance and understanding of these aspects, and many of us have scars and deep hurts. Just as with these other elements, when it comes to sex we don’t talk about what it means, what it represents and provides.
If my knowledge about sex is that it’s ultimately bad, or a chore, then I don’t really know how to express myself in a meaningful way.
I believe sex is often talked about wrong in the media – it’s often abusive, but these images don’t shake my core beliefs about sex and our sexuality.
I believe that sex is pure, sacred, and good. I believe in passion, in demonstrating my passion to my lover – not simply in ways that I want to, but in ways that are pleasing to her. I believe that when we have sex, it is an expression of our oneness. I believe in exploring and satisfying.
Because of all that – I love (in my best Dr Suess impression)
fast sex, slow sex – hard sex, soft sex
long sex, short sex – dressed sex, naked sex
anal sex, oral sex, vaginal sex, toy sex, hand sex
I like whips & chains, crops & plugs, paddles & kneeling, spreader bars & clamps, presenting & tables, rope & anal hooks, vibrators & floggers, wands & benches, heels & hose, collars & service, candle wax & ice, hands & anything in them. And more….
I love massages and holding hands, kissing, sharing our breathing, and simply looking into each others eyes. I love simply cuddling with each other and being with one another.
And yes it’s true – I love making my wife endure more orgasms than either of us can count.
There isn’t much that I would consider taboo between us. Years ago, I didn’t know we would enjoy these things – hell some of them I didn’t know existed.