:: BDSM Basics

tumblr_n9hwq654gG1tvqjt6o1_400Establishing a D/s relationship isn’t easy. Sex is a taboo topic for most people. We don’t often have a sit down with our partner before having sex and say or ask questions like “I’m going to come on your face when we have sex” or “I’d love to massage your prostate – are you down with that?”

These are probably sure fire ways to end it before it gets going with most people.

But it’s not just kinky questions we steer away from it’s even the  more vanilla questions. People generally don’t talk enough about our fears, our desires or what we think “great sex” is. The best we often come up with is asking about how many sexual partners they or we have had.

Sometimes we don’t want to ask because it’s for fear of rejection. Other times it’s because we might be afraid to know. But if you want a great sexual life – and definitely if you want a D/s relationship – you MUST talk about it.

It’s not always easy to do. People often carry baggage from being hurt in the past, or think their fantasies are too dark. But in a  healthy relationship we need to trust our partner isn’t going to reject us. In most cases – your partner most likely has the same leanings as you.

The biggest step is opening up and saying “Have you ever thought about…..”

That’s what the pages in this section are about – talking about getting started, discussing limits and protocols and some general thoughts on demonstrating our Dominance and submission.

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