:: BDSM Training

As Kasai and I began our emergence into our D/s dynamic, I quickly realized that very little people were talking about training.

Sure, you could find some people that would mention it here and there or say that it was needed; however, there seemed to be no real substance. And what there was seemed to only be relating to anal sex or deep throating.

Not thinking about training, its purpose, value, or importance can cause a lag – at least it did with me. Because I knew where I wanted us to be, but I didn’t know “how” to get there.

A submissive isn’t a mind reader – if a Dom wants to lead the couple somewhere, it’s up to the Dom to lay out a path to walk on.

I feel it’s best to focus on one area at a time – and that each area can and should build upon another. Everyone’s dynamic is different, but this doesn’t take away from the rewards of the training itself.

There are essential elements in all training, and tons of things to train on, and I hope to discuss them in greater detail; however, here is a snapshot:

Self confidence, self image, communication, protocols, receiving pain, public expression, submissive positions, acts of service, sexual positions, giving and receiving of pleasure, and of course areas typically associated with BDSM: anal sex, cock/pussy worship, deep throating, humiliation, water sports, pony play, role play, and the list goes on and on.

I’d like to spend approximately two months per area – although the training should be flexible. Sit down with your sub and explain what the goals or end states are. If you tell your sub that “I want you/I/we to be able to do XYZ” – your submissive will naturally be more focused on it – and once you achieve your goal, think of the confidence and the pleasure not to mention the deeper connection that will emerge.

If you try to force too much at one time, you make catch yourself trying to make shit up. And once you do that – your lover will know it, because you won’t really be present. It can feel as though you’re just trying to go through the motions.

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