:: On the Spot Training

As I’ve mentioned before – every moment can be considered a training opportunity. And when we find ourselves providing additional training for some kind of nonconformity, it’s a form of on the spot (OTS)correction – or training.

OTS training – instruction – correction – guidance are those singular moments we take to provide insight into an action, process, position, or communication that has just occurred i.e. your sub is doing or saying something, and it needs to be tweaked.

In that moment, you have a decision to make – is it worth it? Many times, a Dom will answer with “no” and let it go – even if it contradicted with what our desire was. We often justify our non-action by saying “It’s only a small infraction” or “it’s not a big deal”.

And it may not be a big deal – it could be something as simple as the following scenario:

Dom: Place your hands on the railing, with your fingers fully extended and joined.

The sub instead grabs the railing with her thumb in a closed grip (as in holding a beer for example).

The Dom notices (hopefully) and says…”eh”

In a level such as this – the consequence to the Dom’s non-action seems insignificant. Yet, over time it can be large. You will seem wishy washy at some point. And your sub needs consistency at a very deep level. So be consistent. Make the correction, it could be as simple as “That’s not how I told you to hold the grasp the rail, do it like this” (and demonstrate).

Often times, a sub may not perform a task to standard because they simply don’t completely understand what your saying. Other times, it may be deeper, each situation is unique and will dictate how to respond – but you should respond.

Another type of infraction where the Dom may not make a correction may be the sub performing an action that is giving pleasure to the Dom – maybe you told your sub to perform oral with a specific instruction (or maybe it just needs to be different) – or maybe you told your sub to dress up for a night out – she looks damn hot, but you really wanted her to wear something else.

You may not have provided specific details, or you may have. But what often happens is “Damn, this feels fucking great and I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so I’m just going to enjoy this” or “Damn, she looks amazing! I really wanted her to wear the other black dress, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings”.

Notice – that each sentence has the phrase “I don’t want to hurt her feelings”.

Listen – you are not going to hurt her feelings. If you didn’t provide specific instruction – that’s okay – simply say “What your doing/wearing feels/looks amazing, but try doing/dressing this way”. If you did provide clear direction, be more point blank, and work to correct the nonconformity.

The point remains – you are the Dominant partner. The submissive wants you to dominate. Making corrections OTS is not going to hurt her feelings. It may, in the moment cause a second of emotional shifting, but in the end, she will be thankful.

It’s always recommended to follow up after a correction. With examples of not holding a position correctly or grabbing the railing quite perfectly – you may not need to (except monitor next time) – but with other ones where the subs emotions can get the best of her, it may be worthwhile during aftercare or a free-time to discuss.

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