:: Planned Training

If the purpose of training is to teach, show, improve, demonstrate, or otherwise expand – it could be said that every moment should be a training opportunity for something. That being said, one shouldn’t proceed without an intentional training regime – or planned training.

Something can always be explored, expanded, or improved. The first step is to actually sit down and plan it – the actual session and included scenes themselves. If you don’t plan these, your desire will not play itself out. It may still be an amazing moment, but you will be stuck on a treadmill – constantly moving, but not actually going anywhere.

Planned training within BDSM is probably one of the most neglected areas in media – be it books, video, the web, etc. It seems no one seems to talk about it, other than to say you should do it.

Rather, you are given an image, a picture and you’re left trying to figure it out. This can build frustration and anxiety as you don’t simply wake up and one day magically have things happen. Yes, it’s true that every D/s is different, but certainly there are some principles that could apply to all.

A Dom needs to be patient and methodical. You have to think about the things you want. You have to research, plan and coordinate. Think big – but focus on the details

Ask yourself where you want to be in a year? How can that image be broken down into smaller subgroups? Any relationship – and especially any D/s is complex, there are several components. What can you do regarding these areas to create scenes or moments to train your sub on it?

In most D/s relationships you have elements of submissive positions, elements of cock/pussy “worship”, obedience, receiving pain, rough/kinky sex, acts of service, communication protocols, fetishes, and it goes on.

But in that one paragraph I listed out 8 distinct areas. So if I took my ideal of each one and identified where I want us to go, I could then begin a plan to navigate towards it. I could further deconstruct each one of those to discover smaller sub-groups as well.

As you begin to plan your training, it’s wiser to be goal based, rather than time-specific based. In other words, don’t tie yourself down to one or two sessions – if it takes two months that’s okay. On the other hand – if you feel like it may take too long to focus on one area – that’s when you break it down into smaller pieces and go from there. For example, if my goal was anal sex – I could develop one training session on enjoying simple anal play and the use of beads and plugs – move on to another training session and then later return to move on to actual anal sex.

Constantly look at where you are at and where you want to be. Develop scenes to focus on them, and have your sub read specific articles or watch specific videos and write about it. Talk about it – it’s okay to allow your submissive know a little about what you’re doing! Give her the end state – if she knows, she will probably be paying more attention and find greater enjoyment.

The training should be attainable and realistic. Some areas might be easier to develop a training plan than others, but non are impossible. It just takes a little time and creativity.

While focusing on one area – don’t neglect other areas – play with them and enjoy them! And most importantly, at the end of the training session – celebrate and reward your sub!

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