:: Training Parallels

I have had all kinds of jobs. I’ve worked as a ranch hand, in warehouses, manufacturing, home building. I’ve had office jobs and wrench turning jobs. I’ve even owned and operated a business.

I want to say that I don’t look at D/s as a “business”, but where one can find something to enable improvement – that is a good thing.

Below are a few good practices I’ve seen in the business world with some notes as to how it might relate to D/s:

: Assess potential employees You have to know on the front end, what can and can’t be done. Communication is key now only now – but throughout – as some limits may be expanded, and you may find something that becomes a limit that wasn’t before.

: Provides workplace standards. What are the protocols, rules, rituals. While this can be established after an assessment – rules and the like should be more fluid, and able to emerge depending on the training. Don’t get locked in, because if a Dom misses a que the sub will notice it and feel rejected, and may not ever say anything.

: Establishes OJT Develops a training program for what the sub will do for day-to-day life. Not necessarily scene related, but how we do we connect, how do we communicate, how do we deal with this or that issue? Continuous training on the rules, protocols, or rituals.

: Trains on additional programs Training emphasizing on 1 area at a time. Though some areas can overlap, it’s wise to take 1 area and work on that. Develop a clear pathway for success. Don’t limit yourself to time, and don’t be afraid to shelve it and return back to it (always end on a positive note!). It’s okay to go back and revisit the same areas later too!

: Assess performance & rewards the positive / disciplines the nonconformity We think we know about discipline (but may not), but don’t think too much about rewarding. It could be verbal or physical praise (especially outside of the sex!). It could be an act of service without having to be asked or a romantic moment. I would also caution to be careful regarding punishment. Make sure you communicate clearly before, during, and after.

: Compensates the employee through Salary & Benefits (paid vacation, Bonus, time off, sick hours, medical/dental, etc) Notice that salary and benefits are different elements. I’m not suggesting you pay your sub; however, simple would it be to pull out $10 or so a week and set it aside? Use it to send her to the spa, or other pampering. Set money aside to allow her some time away – give her a girls weekend a couple times a year. And set some time aside where you can have an open candid conversation about your relationship without fear of reprisal.

: Provides uniforms, pays for all company expenses (trips, meals, fuel, etc) Obvious – if you want the toys, you gotta buy them (or make them).

: Create constancy of purpose towards improvement. She’s your submissive for a reason – she wants to submit, she wants to feel your Dominance. She desires to please you (and herself) – so don’t hinder it. Make her feel valued!

: Adopt the new philosophy. As a Dom – you must learn and grow too! If you don’t it will create problems in your sub – how is she supposed to be submissive to someone who isn’t really Dominant?

: Improve & train constantly. Training never stops. Theres always something new, or something to revisit – or a way to change the variables.

: Drive out fear. Now I’ll discuss the phenomenon of fear later; however, the sub shouldn’t fear the Dom – as in if she answers a question honestly, it’s not her fault so don’t punish her. If she needs to talk about something, she needs someone to hear her. Communicating may need to be something you train on too, so bear that in mind.

: Eliminate requiring zero defects. Nobody is perfect – you must learn to use the negatives and turn them into positives. Yes, discipline may be in order – but remember, she WANTS to submit to you – don’t take that away from her for something insignificant to the big picture – and don’t misunderstand a playful spanking with a punishment.

: Institute a program of education. Reading, watching videos, seminars, munches, writing. These are all key ways to continuously improve (if you make them relate to the training, even better!)

: Remove barriers that rob pride in workmanship. She should feel proud to be your sub, just as much as you should be proud to be her Dom – it’s a very special and intimate connection. One of the only ways to remove these barriers is through training and meeting the intended goals, especially if it’s something she was hesitant about before.

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