:: Training Plan

If you haven’t read the other pages regarding training – you should do that now to understand my philosophy regarding training. That being said, I spent quite a bit of time talking about how nobody is talking about specifics of training, so I thought I might propose a sample training plan for a couple in the process of emerging into a D/s relationship for the first time.

Most of the time, for those starting this venture – it can be a difficult thing to process. After all, BDSM is taboo for most people. But after the conversation has been engaged, the Dom can sit down and come up with a plan to move forward:

SESSION ONE: Dialoge, Communicating Limits, Expectations, Exploring Fantasies and Desires, Protocols, and other BDSM specific  information.

Goal: The Dom explains to the sub that at the end of the session – the goal is to have a greater understanding into each others expectations, understand the limits, and be able to plan a way ahead.

Week One-Four:

Assign sub to find 1-2 articles per day that resonate with her expectations. The Dom does the same. Each day for 30-45 minutes the Dom leads them in a conversation about the articles and share with each other their feelings about them. Topics can be specific – week 1 about BDSM in general with focus on what a Dominant, submissive, sadist, masochist, top, bottom, etc are. Week 2 could focus on fantasies, fetishes, and desires. Week three on protocols, and finally week four on limits and coming up with an agreement on moving forward.

Say that during Phase One they realize that the sub wants to be spanked on a regular basis, the Dom desires some expressed protocol, and they each want to explore anal sex, increase their sexual pleasure through oral, include some service, explore water sports, as well as shibari. The Dom also decides that at the end of each further training session that there should be a moment of “Free-Time” to discuss freely the training.

SESSION TWO: Submissive Positions, basic protocol, 

Goal: Increase in confidence from both Dom and sub regarding each other in their new roles. The sub to learn a few basic positions as well as protocol for interacting with the Dom.

Week One & Two

Assign sub to practice positions for 5-10 minutes each day. Assign to research and discuss a couple articles a week on submissive positions. Scenes focus on how and when to use the positions prior to moving on and exploring light spanking, basic bondage and various new positions/locations.

Week Three & Four

Focus is on protocol – how to speak with each other, how to present for scenes, as well as service based acts. Assign to research and discuss a couple articles a week on protocol. Scenes focus on submissive positions, protocol and service based acts and continue to explore light spanking, basic bondage, etc.

SESSION THREE: Explore and increase pain tolerance

Goal: explore limits of pain threshold

Week One & Two

Use basic bondage and submissive positions to use for spanking with new instruments – i.e. beyond hand, using a paddle, crop, rod, etc. Each scene gradually increases the intensity of the spankings to better understand the submissives actual desire and satisfaction from the spankings, as well as to give the Dominant a solid understanding of how and where to spank the sub.

They continue to explore other ways of bondage during sex, and play around with light anal play.

SESSION FOUR: Oral Pleasure

Goal: Explore each other’s bodies and discover new ways to please each other orally.

Week One

Assign and discuss 1 article per day about oral sex – focus on the sub receiving. Scenes continue to include spanking & bondage and focus on oral prior to moving on to intercourse (if at all).

Week Two

Assign and discuss 1 article per day about oral sex – focus on the Dom receiving. Scenes continue to include spanking & bondage and focus on oral prior to moving on to intercourse (if at all).

SESSION FIVE: Anal Play

Goal: Discover pleasure through anal play

Week One & Two

Assign and discuss 1 article per day about anal play/sex. Scenes focus on anal play – primarily the use of hands, beads, plugs or other toys. Continue to hone oral skills, light bondage, spanking, submissive positions, and protocol.

SESSION SIX: Bondage

Goal: Learn 4 restraints using rope

Week One & Two

Research and discuss the restraints. Purchase scissors for safety. Scene focuses on protocol, positions, and spanking prior to moving onto the restraints. Continue to hone oral and anal play.

SESSION SEVEN: Water sports

Goal: Experience and draw pleasure from water sports

Week One & Two

Research and discuss articles/videos on water sports. Create moments to explore the fetish. Continue to hone bondage, oral, anal, positions, and protocols.

Now that the Dom has successfully led themselves through seven training areas – they have probably deepened their awareness into their new relationships. They have a better understanding of their expectations and desires. They have had a free-time at the end of each one to discuss lessons learned and how each other feels about the specific act.

The Dom can now create another set of training sessions to further refine what they have and explore deeper dimensions of their fantasies and kinks, or include newer areas to push boundaries and continue to emerge.

Maybe they want to engage in suspension, or play outside. Maybe they want to move on to anal sex, or deep throating. They might want to extend and learn new higher levels of protocol. Attend a munch, or different ways to experience pain by using candles, clamps, clothespins, or other toys.

Regardless of where you are at in your relationship – you can develop a training plan with specific sessions to act as a guide for your continuous emergence.

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