:: Being Pornographic With Someone (via College Humor)

BDSM Meme Kinky Sex meme Pearl Necklace and Facial

And he does!

But the same is most certainly true the other way around. There is something very primal about oral sex that draws intimacy.

Probably couldn’t be better explained than through this College Humor original:

 

 

:: BDSM SPANKINGS

1fbb334326256b712d9f46ebcfb46e07There were a few times before Kasai and I began our emergence into a D/s dynamic that I smacked her ass, but I never really gave her a spanking. I remember the first time like it was yesterday.

I can recall the moments leading up to, during, and afterwards with great clarity. But I’m not sure I was prepared for how each of us would respond.

As her pussy began to saturate with each strike, I found my own desire intensifying. There was a release within both of us to something primal. And we each began to crave it deeply.

What is it about spankings that can stir up something so deep within us? How do you go about administering a spanking that deepens a bond and level of trust?

There is a plurality of understanding when it comes to spankings. On one hand, we are raised to not hit a woman, and some have a difficult time grasping the power of a spanking, because they can’t get over this one side. Part of it remains, because any abusive element is wrong.

But there is another side – the side where both parties want and enjoy it. Some may even say that they need the experience of it. On this side, there is no abuse, because it’s given and received freely – it’s yearned for and desired.

This is the realm of spankings.

There is a physiological element that is not always easy to describe. Because many view it as taboo, and because of the perception of abuse, it can be difficult to say why you enjoy spanking your sub, or why you want to be spanked by your Dom.

Through the power of spankings; however, resides a mechanism to deepen bonds – to soften wills – to strengthen relationships. It heightens sexual awareness and arousal. They release tension and sharpen the edges of the D/s dynamic.

TYPES OF SPANKINGS

7d586c26a14a7fd7da50b04a54ec98a3I would suggest that there are several types of spankings. There is a maintenance spanking – maybe it’s every day, or once a week – but these are planned and scheduled – they occur whether intercourse follows or not. They can serve as a reminder of the D/s dynamic. They can be a ritual, or part of a protocol.

There are playful spankings – these are probably less intense than a maintenance spanking, and most often will be accompanied by intercourse (before, during, or after); however, they can often be very intense.

There are also therapeutic spankings. There have been times when Kasai was struggling with things, and I just “knew” that what she needed was a good spanking. So, I had her lay over my lap and used my hand to spank her ass. With each strike, her tension subsided. It wasn’t really “sexual” in the way most other spankings are, but it was still powerful.

Then there are spankings for discipline and/or punishment. These are normally more intense than the others, and are a result of some kind of nonconformity. Generally, a spanking is seen, understood, and experienced as a positive thing – something that quickens our sexual urges; however, a spanking given for discipline is administered as a form of correction and most likely are not directly followed by intercourse.

INSTRUMENTS, SEVERITY, & LOCATION

BDSM Poster BDSM Spanking

BDSM Poster BDSM Spanking

You have to know your instruments. Whether you use your hand, a crop, paddle, cane, flogger or other tool. You need to know how hard each one strikes. You need to know how they are felt over a bare ass or if she has panties on – or a dress, or pants. You need to know how long it will take to heal from a spanking.

The hand is the most personal instrument. You “feel” each strike just as she does. Because of the shared physiological response it’s easier to understand how it is being felt. And you can change the way the spanking is felt more than just with the velocity of your hand. You can strike with just your finger tips, with a cupped palm or flat hand. You can use the back of your hand. You can spank and hold, or vary the degree of follow through.

Other instruments offer differences as well. The longer the instrument, the more bite it generally carry. The harder (wood vs leather) it is, the more severe it will be. If the instrument is flexible and soft as with many floggers you can swing pretty hard and it will won’t be as intense as something like a cane that is hard, very thing, and often long.

Clothing adds a degree of padding to the ass. While a bare ass will leave red imprints almost immediately from a spanking, if she has on any clothing, the physical reaction will be less intense. While most spankings are given on a bare ass, it can be just as sexy as a quickie to give a quick spanking over her clothes as well.

Most bottoms can probably take a harder spanking than what most Tops typically give. Dom’s may have a tendency to back off at the site of her ass becoming rosy or slight bruising. But you need to be a master of your craft – you need to know what the reaction is to every level and degree of spankings.

There is something about watching bruises heal as well.

When it comes to where you spank your sub, the ass is probably the #1 spot. The buttocks are soft and able to take a beating like no other place on the human body. While you can spank her pussy, it’s not going to be nearly as hard as it would be on her ass. Same would go with her breasts. The upper and meaty portion of her thighs is probably the #2 spot. In general, you want to avoid spanking around internal organs and be highly conscience of places where bones are close to the surface.

Something happens in a submissives mind, body, and spirit during a spanking. There is the physical reaction (reddening, bruising, etc) and the emotional response which has a wide range. Because of the many ways in which a submissive accepts a spanking, the Dominant partner should administer some degree of after-care. It could be applying lotion, cuddling, warming up under a blanket, etc. But some attention is required.

:: Give the Best Blow Job Ever

While I’m not a fan of long posts, it seemed best to not separate this one.  So, below is a Top Eleven (because 10 just ins’t enough) tips on how to give an amazing blow job:

TIP 1: Enjoy it!

UnknownThis is hands down the biggest tip to give the most amazing blow job in history! If your guy sees, hears, and feels you enjoying what you’re doing, it’s going to be a rush for him. I can’t say it enough – enjoy it, draw pleasure from it, be enthusiastic. Talk to him, tell him you love his cock, you love sucking on his cock, you love his cock in your mouth – that will drive him crazy with desire. Look at him. Touch yourself. Demonstrating pleasure is the Number One Tip to giving an amazing blow job!

TIP 2: Watch Him

Talking about what he likes, and how much he likes it is great, but have you ever watched your man masturbate? Give him some lube, lay down next to him, and ask him to make himself come. Watch his grip, how hard he squeezes. Watch his stroke – is it long, or short – does he change it up? How long does he continue to stroke his cock after he has come? You can learn a hell of a lot by watching your guy take care of himself.

TIP 3: Talk to Him

Have you ever asked your guy what he likes, or how he likes it? If you ask general questions like “Do you like what I do” He probably answers “I love what you do”. If you want an honest answer – ask specific questions. Thing is, most people don’t know how to vocalize specifics when it comes to sex, some fear rejection, others fear their partner being hurt. But if you ask with a sincere desire to please, you’re bound to learn a thing or two.

As you’re going down on him – talk to him then too. Tell him you love what your doing. Tell him you love making him come. After doing something specific ask him if he liked it (maybe you just sucked on his balls so ask “You love it when I suck on your balls like that?”) or tell him you loved doing that (“I love sucking on your balls like that”).

TIP 3: Use Them Hands

You probably can’t use your mouth for the entire time, so now that you know how your guy uses his hands – you know better on how to use yours! Most guys have a long history of using their hands, and we know that hands feel amazing! So use yours too. They can stroke his cock, rub his balls, stomach, perineum, and ass. Hands give your mouth and jaw a break – but you can also give your hands a break by changing your grip – use an open grip, a closed grip, a tight one, whole hand or just thumb and forefinger. Trying using both hands. Try twisting your grip as it strokes his cock. Try stroking his cock and sucking/licking the head of his cock. Try it all!

 

TIP 4: Know Your Anatomy

I just mentioned a few specific parts, so it’s worth talking more in depth about them. You’ll probably notice if you watch your man stroke his cock, that he vary’s between a long stroke (from base to head) and a short stroke (focus on the head of his cock) as well as his grip – how much constriction he puts on his shaft and how his fingers slide over the head. An erection is caused by blood – this is why a cock ring can make it feel harder or more intense for you both – so when spending time on the shaft – remember that if properly lubed it’s almost impossible to grip too tight.

While the head of the cock has a ton of nerves, it’s actually most sensitive after a guy comes (try sucking on it immediately after he comes to see!).  The feeling of your hand sliding over the head of his cock from his shaft is amazing – it’s a fluttering feeling, and doing that alone can cause him to come.

The balls are not quite as sensitive as the head; however, your guy probably wants to see you suck on or lick his balls in addition to you using your hands. When using your hands, remember it’s not like his shaft – too tight will hurt! LOL. You can use an open grip using your thumb and forefinger at the base of his ball sack to grip, but any tight grip around his actual testicles is bound to make him wince. When you have a testicle in your mouth, try humming or moaning – the sensation can be felt.

The perineum is the area is sensitive as well, and while it’s a visual stimuli to watch a woman use her tongue there, if you want him to feel it, stroke it with your thumb. His asshole is the same way – it’s a sensitive area and whether you use your mouth or your finger, it’s bound to get him going hotter. And just like you only want yours played with lube, use a dab of lube before you stroke or insert your finger or toy. Every guy is different, so you’ll have to experiment to see what your loves or doesn’t.

TIP 5: Use That Tongue

tumblr_mia088VdQQ1r3si7eo1_500Using your tongue on a guys cock give s a crazy rush to your man. It makes him feel high, which in turn of course feels good. Use your tongue in a swirling pattern around the tip of his cock. Lick his cock from base to tip. With cock in mouth, slide your tongue out of your mouth. Lick his balls and his ass. Using your tongue puts your face in a good position to make eye contact with him as well.

TIP 6: Gagging and Saliva

A wet blow job is a great blow job. Don’t swallow your saliva as you are giving head – rather, allow it to lubricate your mans cock. Not to mention, the sight of you drooling over his cock gives an instant high as well. When it comes to gagging – listen to me on this – don’t worry about it! You might be concerned about it for one reason or another, but your guy probably loves it when you gag on his cock. That coupled with you continuing gives  a mad rush to your guy – it really demonstrates your desire for him and his cock when you start gagging, but want more. You’ll probably notice that a thicker saliva will become present when you gag – this is your body’s way of trying to lubricate itself, and will only help you out!

TIP 7: Deep Throat

Only natural to be next after talking about gagging. Yes, it’s like every mans desire for their partner to take all of his cock into their mouth. And as true as that is, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t right now, or if it takes you longer to take more of him in, after all – it’s not natural to slide something into your throat and then slide it back out. When trying to take more of his cock in, your jaw needs to be relaxed. Breath through your nose (and don’t forget to breath!). When you’ve taken him in as far as you can and you can feel yourself begin to gag – try to calm down and hold him there. Remember, your guy doesn’t mind if you gag, so after a few seconds, slide him out and then go again.

If you want to practice, use your toothbrush to clean the back of your tongue – hold it as far back to help to learn about your gag reflex, and how to relax yourself. You can also use a dildo as well.

While I believe that every woman has the capability to deep throat, not every woman can – and that’s okay. You shouldn’t pressure yourself or feel bad if you can’t now – or if it takes a long time to figure it out.

TIP 8: Watch Porn

Reading articles and talking about sucking cock can take you a long ways – but sometimes the best learning stimuli is watching it. So, watch some porn – the best is stuff that’s been home made – not produced by the industry. Not that the industry doesn’t know how to demonstrate a good cock sucking (it does), but if you want to know what women are doing, and what guys are enjoying it’s just more “real” to watch “real people”. To make this tip hotter, put some on without him knowing and get ‘caught’ watching it, then explain why you’re watching it. To be sure, it’s okay to watch it together and talk about it….then put it into practice!

Bonus tip – make your own! Hand him or just set up a camera to record the experience. When recording, don’t be focused on the camera (even though looking at it, and even speaking to it is hot as shit when he watches it later) – just be focused on giving him pleasure. And with the rise of the selfie, use your camera to take one during the moment – send it to him later to get his mind on you!

TIP 9: Location, Location, Location

Where and when do you give your guy a blow job? The answer is….right here, right now, lol. But seriously, your guy would be down with a blow job anytime, anywhere. Could be first thing in the morning, or the last thing at night. Could be while watching television on the couch, or as soon as he comes home. Could be in the shower or as the best desert ever after supper. In the car or in the back yard. Slip away into your bedroom while company is over. While at the theater or other semi-public space. Give him a reason to have a great day right before he goes to work. Surprise him with the best lunch date ever! Did he have a bad day? Nothing makes it better like a blow job. Did he have a great day? Nothing makes it even greater than a blow job. (see the pattern there?) If you have scenes that are planned out, and you’re concerned about ruining plans – don’t be. I can promise you that every good plan is not as good as a blow job, lol. Seriously though, don’t be focused on what may or may not be planned, be focused on giving him pleasure. If he stops you (which I doubt) – feel the gratification that he’s going to have one thing on his mind for the rest of the day.

Bonus Tip: Make a bucket list – where are all the places and all the times you would like to make your man come? Have fun trying to get them all checked off – then add to it and keep it going!

TIP 10: The Big Finish

tumblr_n699ttvajA1rmxgp0o9_400Do you spit or swallow? The age old question that seem to haunt some people. To tackle this tip – lets first talk bout the mental aspect of it – mainly that your guy probably doesn’t care, he’s just happy that you spent some quality time on him. That said, there is a portion of him that does care. He doesn’t want to see you spit his come into a tissue or the sink like it’s garbage.

That said, you don’t have to have you mans cock in your mouth when he comes. He probably feels that the sexiest make up you can wear is his come – so if you’re not to the point of having him come in your mouth, have him come on your face. When you do – show your desire by opening your mouth or sticking your tongue out as if your trying to catch it. Some guys shoot with a lot of pressure, others don’t – just remember to have your eyes closed to avoid a sting.

After he has come, suck on his cock – clean him up with your mouth and tongue and fingers. It’s okay to play with his come! If you can take his entire load in your mouth, let him see it before and after you swallow. And for a big finish – give your guy the deepest kiss ever right after.

Truth be told, your guy probably has a come fetish – he wants or needs to see his come on you in every possible way, from every angle, in your mouth, on your face, breasts, dripping from your mouth your pussy and your ass, on your tongue, on your pussy, your stomach – he wants to see you lick it, suck it off your fingers or from his body – He wants to see if on your lips, your nipples, and neck (get the picture? LOL).

Tip 11: Enjoy it

come

Have to stop where I started. If there’s ONE thing you can do to give your man the BEST blow job ever, it’s this – you need to demonstrate that you are enjoying what you are doing. This is done by the noises you make (gagging, saying “hhmmmm”, etc) the things you say (I LOVE your cock!), the expressions on your face (eye contact, smiling, etc) and the things you do (open mouth when he comes, variety between sucking, stroking, etc). You can also demonstrate that you are enjoying it by paying attention to yourself – finger your clit, rub your breasts & nipples, stick a finger in your pussy – nothing says your turned on like watching you touch yourself! It’s done by not doing things like making faces when he comes, or squeezing your eyes so tight as he comes that it looks like this is the worst moment of your day.

Odds are, your guy spends a lot of time on pleasuring you – from intense foreplay, to giving you multiple orgasms, spanking you, and the list goes on. This is one thing that you can do for your man that is focused on your giving him pleasure. So when you have his cock in your mouth – do so as if to say “thank you”!

There will probably be times when you’re both going to laugh. There may be other times when you’ll say something like “Damn, that was  a lot of come!” (btw, that’s always hot to hear) because you tried to take all of his come in your mouth and you couldn’t. Point is, you need to enjoy it, and not worry so much.

:: Impact Play | Spanking Basics

0004cc87-0c64-98fb-1f1c-5fe3d3da1bfb_958In the realm of all things kink – there is one activity that seems to be apparent throughout as a primal element. Both the giver and the receiver often state that the act increases arousal, heightens awareness, and deepens an unseen bond.

For most of society, spanking took a negative turn starting in the 60’s with the rise of feminism. While John Wayne may have bent O’Hara over his knee in McKlintock! and gave her a solid spanking, and Desi certainly gave Lucy several spankings, people began to ask how a man has the right to spank a woman. But in the underground, a surge remained that said “I can be respected and spanked”.

To be certain – spankings hold almost a mystical degree of an ability to enhance that which is unseen.

I’ll write more about different types of spankings in a later post. But there are several instruments commonly used.

The Hand. The most intimate instrument. Capable of telling the giver immediately how hard the spankings are. The hand also leaves an amazing red result. The hand is also very versatile. You can use the palm of your hand, the finger tips, you can grip on impact.

The Paddle. Could be leather or wood. Might have holes too. Regardless, they offer an extra bite. The more narrow they are, the more potent the sting.

The Crop. Long and slender – made of leather, the crop will feature a narrow piece of leather at the tip used for implementing a strike. The longer the crop, the more leverage it possesses. But being highly flexible, it is easy to provide smooth smacks.

The Flogger. Because the spread of the impact is so great, a flogger will often deliver a softer blow (depending on the material and specifics of construction). With a rope flogger that doesn’t have any knots in it, the Dominant can put a lot more weight into each strike.

Next – where and how to spank:

Distribution is important to allow for a prolonged spanking. The majority of the spankings should be on the greatest protrusion of the buttocks. A little attention can be placed between the upper thighs and the convex; however, you need to be careful and learn your submissives body well. Avoid approaching the tail bone or near the kidneys to avoid internal damage. While you can flog meaty portions of the legs, breasts, upper back, you want to take each new area with reverence and caution.

Positions to spank:

There are several basic positions to provide a good spanking – though each one has numerous variants. Bent over furniture – over the knee – standing. Here’s a few pics to spark the imagination.

59d19092295e5cafb72caf252e924f90

Position: Bent Over Lap
Instrument: Hand

e2c05cdb06230bd9d819bd70476da3e8

Position: Standing
Instrument: Belt

e73e3a40258e59415d2a20358e309c69

Position: Over Furniture
Instrument: Spoon

flogger

Position: Standing
Instrument: Flogger

tumblr_m51vt0D6sR1rwb5tto1_500

Position: Bent over Lap
Instrument: Hand

Position: Kneeling Instrument: Crop

Position: Kneeling
Instrument: Crop

Standing

Position: Standing
Instrument: Hand with squeeze

Over the Knee

Position: Bent over Lap
Instrument: Open Hand

:: Make Her Feel Dominated

tumblr_m85f3k9NAh1ra9vkuo1_500

6f0b5bb260f416b98d4da63dc33b95aa

Make her feel dominated. Pin her against the wall or on the bed – let her feel your weight – Manhandle her – use your hands to feel every inch. Put your hands on her throat, in her mouth. Pick her up. Pull her hair.

Just a few ways to make her feel your dominance.

a64155b6e44c05747eba73b75376cdd3

hands in mouth

pull hair

:: BDSM Predicament Bondage

Predicament bondage requires a lot of creativity, patience, and constant supervision. But there is more it requires as well. The bond and level of trust between Dominant and submissive needs to be firmly established.

The goal of predicament bondage is to limit the amount of movement for a submissive in such a way, that should movement be selected – the sub will find themselves in a more uncomfortable position. Consider the phrase “stuck between a rock and a hard place”.

tumblr_mlrnbafJin1s8y81go1_500The starting position will typically cause muscle fatigue. As the sub wears out, it will force the submissive into the secondary position, which will bring sensations with it. Or, the submissive may not be wearing out physically, but through the movement after receiving pleasure the pain is felt. For example, picture the image that has a sub on her back – suppose her legs were resting flat on a table (but still connected to her breasts via the rig) – now, make her squirm through orgasm(s) – imagine that in that process, her legs will move and doing so will tug on her breasts.

tumblr_m1rgbzUJTZ1rqnuico1_500

:: BDSM Bondage | Body Harness

Placing your sub into a body harness requires patience – it takes time to put your sub into a harness, and it takes time to remove the harness. But during that initial time, there is a build up of anticipation and wonder. Harnesses can be elaborate, or simple. They can hold your sub in position for a good spanking, or restrict movement. Here’s a couple videos to demonstrate two different harnesses.