:: Adoration

tumblr_m34ir19KA61ruh5luo1_500

 

While I may dominate you.

While I may lead and guide is in our continued emergence.

While I may spank your ass until you can’t take it. Know this:

My love for you has never been stronger.

My respect for you has never been greater.

My adoration for you has never been clearer.

I will protect you. 

For you hold my heart – for now and all eternity.

 

:: BDSM Basics

tumblr_m58xf4U98o1qflndpo1_500Establishing a D/s relationship isn’t easy. Sex (only one aspect for a D/s couple) is a taboo topic for most people. We don’t often have a sit down with our partner before having sex and say like “I’m going to spank you until you cum” or “Bend over so I can fuck your ass with my strap on”

These are probably sure fire ways to end a relationship it before it even gets going with most people.

But it’s not just kinky questions we steer away from it’s even the  more vanilla questions. People generally don’t talk enough about our fears, our desires or what we think “great sex” is. The best we often come up with is asking about how many sexual partners they or we have had.

Sometimes we don’t want to ask because it’s for fear of rejection. Other times it’s because we might be afraid to know. But if you want a great sexual life – and definitely if you want a D/s relationship – you MUST talk about it.

It’s not always easy to do. People often carry baggage from being hurt in the past, or think their fantasies are too dark. But in a  healthy relationship we need to trust our partner isn’t going to reject us. In most cases – your partner most likely has the same leanings as you.

The biggest step is opening up and saying “Have you ever thought about…..”

:: BDSM Spankings

UntitledSpankings in a D/s relationship are pretty much a staple.

As a Dom, I enjoy spanking Kasai – sometimes hard | sometimes soft. But I do love it. The why isn’t always easy to put into words. But there is a deep connection I feel with her. It is also a demonstration of our trust towards each other. Slightly sadistic, I do enjoy watching her bruise and wail with each smack. I enjoy watching the bruises heal as well. Of course there is a degree of exhibiting my Dominance.

The art of spanking is highly erotic for me.  Kasai could be over my knee, bent over a piece of furniture, or standing. Her ass could be bare or covered. It could be playful or corrective.  I could be using my hand, a paddle, crop, flogger, or anything else. Either way – any way – is very sexual in nature.

Kasai feels the same way – there is not much else like a good spanking to get her soaking wet desperate for more.  They have been therapeutic for her as well. Spankings also serve to put her mind at rest and shift into a deeper sense of submission. A spanking a day keeps Kasai a happy girl – she loves the process.

What role does spankings play in your relationship?

 

:: Making Time

tumblr_n9hwq654gG1tvqjt6o1_400Making time with your submissive to connect outside of intercourse is very important. A sub needs quality time to talk and listen, and to just be with you. A Dom needs the same things too. 

A D/s relationship is just as fragile as any other – and both parties have a high desire to please their partner in extraordinary ways. Both need to feel trust and affirmation. 

So take time with each other – enjoy a few moments and just talk – hear each other and continue to emerge in your relationship.

:: Safe in my arms

tumblr_n5l7e1nTLq1qcr2gxo1_500As a Dom, I push Kasai in numerous directions. As she enters into a dream state, she often becomes overwhelmed. One time, she nearly lost all feeling after multiple orgasms ravaged her body began to shut down to the pleasure – it was an incredible experience.

Though not every scene is that intense – most push her to a point of trembling – from pain and pleasure. Her mindset needs time to reset and return to earth.

These moments are fragile for a submissive, and it cannot be overstated that a Dom needs to care for their sub. The deep bond of trust is hardened in aftercare.

Kasai – you are safe in my arms.

:: Introducing BDSM into the relationship

tumblr_n90yp3NRfT1rlinc6o1_500Sex is a taboo topic for most people. For the most part, girls talk to girls; and guys talk to guys – but in my observations couples don’t talk to each other.

Not even about vanilla sex.

This is due to the fear of rejection and the desire to not their partners feelings.  People find it hard to describe to their lovers what they way and what they don’t like.

So when it comes to BDSM, it can be even that much more difficult. “Get on your knees and present yourself” isn’t really a great conversation starter, neither is “So, I bought a riding crop today, tonight I’m going to spank you with it”.

Another question might be – who is actually getting into BDSM – is it couples who are already together, couples just meeting, those that just met, people online?

In my observation, more people emerge into BDSM who are already in a committed relationship. And that alone can make the conversation starter even that much more terrifying. You have invested so much – do you dare risk it to share your desires?

It is also my observation that more people drift into BDSM after exploring non-vanilla sex. Some light spankings and bondage, a little rougher sex. Most people don’t start their conversations with “Hey, wanna by sex slave?”

When it comes to kinky sex, some people find an easy way by saying “Have you ever given any thought to being spanked”. But even that question can be scary – what if  your partner says not only “no” but “HELL NO!” or “Who do you think you are!”

So, the majority might slip some cuffs on someone, or during sex give a little slap on their partners ass. Or maybe they tug on the hair a little harder, or start to talk dirty.

For emerging into BDSM, it can be equally as nerve racking as exploring kinky sex. How do you start a conversation about one person becoming more submissive, especially in today’s culture where it’s dismissed as weakness or degrading?

It can be the same way – small conversation starters. Maybe it’s looking at some light BDSM pictures and saying “How do you feel about this picture?” Or buying a book about sex that includes some chapters about BDSM.

And for those who may have other fetishes – even if you’re into some non-vanillla sex, even if you are already in a D/s relationship, it can still be hard to discuss other things. It’s not always easy to say “Hey, did you know water sports really turns me on?”

Regardless of what kind of relationship you have you have to talk about it. You have to trust your partner enough to not simply reject you. If they do – there are bigger issues than sex.

Odds are, you will be surprised at how your partner is open to the conversation. You might be a little ashamed for even feeling you might be rejected.

How did you first begin to explore BDSM?

:: Tumblr Account

So, a while ago, I created a Tumblr account with the intent of it being a storage for various pictures. It’s nowhere near being complete, but it’s not a bad start so far. I have a few categories under the menu. Hope you enjoy: emergingDom Tumblr