:: After After-Care

in-bedThe process of caring for a submissive doesn’t stop with the end of after-care, actually it’s only beginning.

Too many times, it seems, there is a lack of communication between Doms and subs. I know this is an area that I could improve on.

If there is a training session in progress, taking time afterwards to have some moments to discuss it can be most helpful.

I want to know how Kasai felt about the training – because I want more than mere submission, I want her the task/act of service/etc to be something she enjoys. I want it to be something she found fulfillment in. By knowing how she processed the training, I can better gauge how to push her in the future.

A few moments of an “open-time” where she can talk about her feelings, her fears, her thoughts without fear of repercussion and knowing that I’m listening – I’m hearing her can further push us into each other in new ways.

Kasai isn’t my slave – she is my submissive, and I feel she needs moments to be able to talk – to share her thoughts without being led in them.

By doing so, I believe I can better lead her.

:: D/s progressive levels

wornout_shoesOne of my old friends runs marathons all the time, I don’t even know how many he’s completed. I have another friend who runs them with a gas mask on – my kind of crazy.

I’ve done my share of running too; and I can assure you, it’s a learned art.

You have to learn how to breathe – how to deal with pain and not care, knowing it will go away – how to pace yourself – how to train.

Training is key for long distance running. You need shoes that fit right, you have to know how to eat, get plenty of rest, stretch properly before and afterwards. The time of day is also important as well as environmental factors. And of course – being consistent in it.

When it comes to D/s – it’s the exact same.

First – you don’t just wake up and become a role model for a BDSM novel, just like you wouldn’t wake up and go and become a gold medalist in the olympics.

Once you realize that – then you can actually begin to move forward.

You have to be consistent in your training – it needs to happen all the time. I’ve seen countless people go to the gym or try other major lifestyle changes and quit. They didn’t have the intestinal fortitude to stay with it. They were sprinting and got burned out.

Don’t get burned out!

Pace yourself in your training – become more methodical in the execution – be patient and intentional. Set realistic goals – and track your progress. Work on honing the finer details.

NUDE LoversBeing a Dominant or a submissive isn’t like making a New Years resolution to yourself where if you fail, it’s not big deal – it’s a commitment to each other – your partner needs you to and you need your partner to be dedicated to each other in this.