I know my last post was about violence, so I thought this next one (before I move on to a short series about bondage) would be somewhat like an antonym. Lets talk about the secret to the best sex ever. Ever!
It applies to the most vanilla sex to the kinkiest sex imaginable.
Whether you’re giving a blow job, kissing, fucking her throat, anal sex, eating pussy, giving a hand job, or using a Hitachi Wand. Whether your spanking soft or hard, using whips, crops, floggers, canes, or your hand. Regardless of if you’re using rope, chains, tape, or gags. Doesn’t matter if you in a missionary position, or a crazy variant of a kama sutra position. You could be in the bedroom, a dungeon, your car, or outside. Fully naked or fully clothed. Regardless of the ‘hows’ there is one secret that will help create the best sex you’ve ever had or could dream about.
It all comes down to one thing. One word.
That one word is: Desire. Passion. Lust. Love. Enthusiasm. Yearning. Present. Longing. Craving. Excitement. Longing. Excitement. Eagerness. Devotion. Intensity. Joy. Adoration. Delight. Elation. Wonder. Energy. Spirituality. Fierceness. Emotion. Power.
Yes, that’s more than one word – but it’s one thing said in a different light.
The point is, if you find yourself doing something out of a sense of duty, or because you feel that you have to, it’s not going to be great. If you’ve lost the sense of newness, it’s not going to be great. Call it a rut, call it the end of the honeymoon phase, call it whatever you like – but it happens in nearly every relationship at some point in time.
It doesn’t even have to be a ‘hard time’, sometimes, after a while it just creeps in on us, and after a while, it becomes the norm. The woman just lays there on her back and the guy just sticks his cock in her pussy and only cares about his orgasm. The woman might fake one, or she just may not care.
And though this is the reason why some people try to “spice up” there sex life, by trying something kinky. But the truth is you could already be in a kinky relationship and find yourself in the same pattern. That’s because great sex isn’t about the level of kink involved – it’s about selfless devotion to your partner.
It’s about finding joy in pleasing your partner. It’s about knowing what pleases your partner and doing that. Sometimes that means learning new things, or getting over internal barriers. And it’s not partial to men or women. And most of the time – when we fall out of sync with each other outside of sex there is a direct connection to our lackluster performance in bed. That’s because sexuality is more than sex – it’s a part of who we are.
The next time you kiss your lover – kiss her like you mean it. The next tim your out with your partner – talk and listen with intent. Hold hands like you did when you first met. Look each other in the eye. Give each other hugs for no reason. Cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or spend time on a walk or putting together a puzzle. Open her doors and compliment her. Notice things about each other and talk about them. Tell him your proud of him.
Adore each other.
And when you you have sex – mean it. Try to give your partner the best sex of their lives – every time. That doesn’t mean you have to be kinky or do something different all the time – just be you and enjoy it. Show your partner you love sucking on their cock, that it’s not just a chore. Seek her orgasms out and learn new ways to make her come. Cuddle afterwards. Talk about sex. Tell each other how great they are. Spank her ass like there’s no tomorrow and then fuck her brains out until she can’t walk. However you connect when you’re having sex – just do it with that one word.
It’s amazing how one word can do and affect so much.