So, the following can be used a couple different ways – one is for solo use (obviously, that’s the title) – but most of it can be employed by a partner as well. I know it may be a little unconventional for a guy to talk about women masturbating, but hang in there…
In the end, we (men and women) are looking for the big O when we masturbate, and the bigger the better, and as it turns out, many of the same things that your partner will (and should) do with you for you to experience body rocking orgasms you can employ yourself. Now, if your partner isn’t doing that – have them read along.
:: Use lubrication. This is, and isn’t the number one tip. Lube isn’t always needed – but it always helps things go…smoother. Whether your playing with your clit, or using something to penetrate with, a little lube goes a long way. There are all sorts of them out there, and it just takes a little experimentation to find out which kind is the best for you.
:: Set the Scene. I’ve shared in other posts about the importance of having a place designated as sacred for sex – now, ANY place is good – and can be GREAT, but having a place that is unique helps to separate vanilla life from getting your self-mojo on. For most, this is the bedroom – so clean it up, get rid of the laundry, light some candles, play some music, etc. Back to the other places – explore in those as well – it can be rather hot to masturbate in other places, so let your kinky adventurous side have some fun too.
:: Explore Your Body. It’s always different when your lover touches you compared to when you touch yourself – this is true for all of us, but it can heighten your senses if you linger on other parts of your body – breasts, neck, legs, stomach, arms, etc.
Of course there are the primal erogenous zones – your clit and G spot – they love it when you stroke them just right. Hitting your G spot can be harder to do, but there’s a tip coming up that will help with that! But to use your hand try this:
Sit back against your headboard or wall and insert your index and middle finger from your dominate hand inside and make a ‘come here’ motion with your fingers – you should feel a walnut sized sponge area – this is your G spot – keep caressing it. Now, the more aroused you are, the easier this is, so it may be better for a subsequent orgasm rather than the first. Keep making the ‘come here’ motion until you feel yourself ready to explode (may feel like you have to pee – but it’s not, don’t hold back) and let it go.
:: Use your Imagination. Watch porn – yes, I know the cliche that most women don’t like it, but it’s a bullshit cliche to think that because women somehow fantasize about sex less than men. The beauty of today’s porn sites, is you can search for porn that excites you. There are compilation videos of every type of sex imaginable.
Fantasize about somebody in particular – could be someone famous, could be your lover – but focus on the feeling and the sensation. Even when watching porn – don’t see the people in the video – see yourself and the one your fantasizing about.
Though it may feel strange to sensor your own senses – experiment with using a blindfold and/or the use
:: Focus on not-focusing. Sometimes, you can masturbate and it seems like “what the fuck is going on, O already!”. It’s fun to touch yourself and feel the beautiful sensations, but come on, we’re masturbating because we want to orgasm. So, let yourself go – feel the sensations. Meditate on the moment of climax – think about the times in the past where you have had amazing orgasms, where when you came it seemed like you were in outer space – let those memories be your focus – feel them.
Now, mind blowing orgasms aren’t going to always come through some self-help. They don’t when your with your partner either. And that’s okay, they don’t have to. Yes, it sucks – but the release is still good. So, don’t worry about it not being amazing – simply enjoy it!
Now, another tip to build up to a powerful orgasm is to back off. It takes a lot of self-control, but when you are nearing a 7 or 8 on the scale of “oh my fucking god, I’m going to come!!!”, back off so that you don’t. When you’ve simmered back down, commence again – and build back up. The more you do this, the bigger the rupture.
:: Why Just One? I mean, what the fuck? Do you only like to have one serving of orgasms when your with your partner? Hell no. So, don’t limit yourself either. Climax from some clitoral hand jamming, and then go for another…and another 🙂
But seriously, the second one is generally going to be more powerful than the first – so go after it. After all, you want an amazing orgasm. They don’t even have to be at the same time – one in the morning, another mid-day snack, and one in the evening. Nor does every time you touch yourself have to lead to an orgasm – touching yourself without brining an O will only heighten your senses and desire for when you finish the job later.
A lot of people feel some sense of shame by masturbating, or pleasing themselves. It’s taboo in most societies – but you need to learn to let that go and be creative and uncensored when it comes to pleasing yourself.
:: Get Some Help. The use of toys can be simply amazing for your experience. There are a lot of standard toys – the rabbit,
the vibrator, the dildo. But don’t limit yourself – use water (detachable shower head or even the tub faucet) – use a suction cup dildo so you can mimic fucking a cock (or being fucked by it) – use multiple (slide in an anal toy, etc) – go electric!
The Hitachi Wand is hands down the bar setter when it comes to “Holy Fuck” orgasms. There are all kinds of makes and models (not all of which are Hitachi, btw) – but with this unique toy, you can do some amazing things. Most people play with it on the clit, but explore – you may find that holding it over the vaginal opening will do wonders! You can also get some insertable attachments to chase after the inside of your pussy.
If you’ve got money, you can purchase a fucking machine to rock your world as well. If you don’t have the skills to make one, one of these may set you back up to $300 (though you can find them a little cheaper). One of the beauties of having a fucking machine, is it gives you new sensations and you can feel more submissive while you use one. Of course, there’s no hiding your sexual appetite when someone sees it, lol.