:: BDSM History – IV

 

 

ANCIENT NEAR EASTERN

Before we shift into more modern times, there’s one last historical group I wanted to touch on – the ancient near easterners. This area would cover Iraq, Babylon, Mesopotamia, Judea, and other areas.

 

There isn’t a ton of art work, but what exists is pretty erotic. Check out these pottery shards – hair pulling fucking from behind awesomeness!

Here’s another shard, that shows the guy penetrating again from behind, as the woman is drinking from a clay pot, and the guy apparently drinking something himself. The local historians believe the drinking was symbolic of oral sex.

It seems the area was highly erotic! It also seems to indicate that the Babylonians believed in getting drunk while having sex.

Other pottery reveals different sexual positions, but the most common one is from behind. There isn’t discussion about specific means of entry – but one can only suppose that anal sex was fair game.

The pottery has been found in temples, graves, and private homes. It’s artwork that represents daily life it seems. In the Epic of Gilgamesh, sex is a human pleasure that should be indulged upon “let your wife delight in your lap”!

Hammurabi also had several codes to cover interesting things. There were laws that seemingly protected prostitutes. In ancient Mesopotamia, prostitution wasn’t a frowned upon way of living, and the women needed laws to protect their rights.

When Alexander went to Babylon (and Herodutus before him) – they were struck at how obsessed the locals were with sex. And it was probably the sex that kept Alexander there so long (he too, has some interesting stories about what he fancied)

Though the other cultures in the area seemed to have explicit views and artwork on sex, the Israelites seemed to have very interesting literature when it came to sex. On one hand, sex was procreation – but in Solomon’s book, sexuality is used overtly as an erotic image (check out this passage: “My beloved put his hand by the hole of the door and my bowels were moved for him”)

Other times, it seems that the ancient authors didn’t hide the fact that life happens: David had more concubines than you could shake a stick at and fucked his friends wife (then had him killed). On one hand, adultery and sexual impurity was something you could get stoned (killed) for, but on the other hand there was some pretty raunchy stuff, like Lot’s daughters getting him drunk and having sex with him. There are a bunch of weird and interesting sexual encounters throughout the Old Testament.

The Hebrews seemed to, after the building of the second temple to continue to further separate themselves from their neighbors, and of course many of their traditions and rules carried forward. It wouldn’t be long, around the late 300’s A.D. that these rules would begin to make a stage throughout most of Europe and only grow in strength. In the rest of the Middle East, the Muslims would also have similar strict laws concerning sexuality. And for quite some time, sexuality throughout the first millennium and most of the second would take a hit.

But it couldn’t be squashed completely – a change was in the air (and between the sheets!)

:: Gentleman’s Rules

 Gentlemen open doors. Of course they open doors for their lover, but they are courteous and hold them open for those in need. It’s a small sign of humility.

They also pull out chairs at a dinner table for their woman. When she goes to use the ladies room, you stand up. When she arrives – you stand.

Seems so much of the art of being a gentleman has been lost – it’s time to bring it back, and own it.

:: BDSM Poster

:: submissive emotions

Don’t misunderstand me, I’m a man – and at the end of the day, I can only talk from my experience and speculations about emotions. But it’s worth discussing, even if it is incomplete.

A woman’s emotions can seem like they are all over the place at times. Especially, if we are not communicating, or something is amiss. Add in a D/s angle, and things can become tricky.

Lovers want to please their partner, but in most relationships it seems that sex is something that isn’t really discussed – it is something that is experienced and accepted…I hope that makes sense.

In a D/s relationship, sex is talked bout upfront, during, and afterwards. In fact – everything erotic is talked bout. It’s not something we “just do”. Hopes, dreams, longings, desires, goals are discussed. Directions are given. There is lead and follow.

In this level of active communication about something so naturally intimate, emotions can fluctuate even greater. The sub truly desires to please their Dom.

Whether or not the emotions are valid doesn’t always matter – what matters is that as a Dom you recognize that they exist, and discuss them when felt. A submissive may feel like they are not good enough – and you know that the feeling shouldn’t be felt (because you are more than happy), so you must decide how to deal with it.

In an M/s relationship it might be easier – you punish the slave for the emotion. But in a D/s, it would be wiser to at the same time inform the sub that not only they are wrong – that you are satisfied, but that the emotion is also inappropriate. It isn’t done easily.

Is the emotions always wrong? Not necessarily – situation dictates. How can it be wrong? If it in anyway detracts from the Dominate partners intentions or desires. If a sub completes a task, and the Dom is satisfied, but the sub feels down the sub needs to realize that this emotion should transform itself into pleasure for meeting the original intent.

But the biggest thing to remember, is that the situation will dictate how to handle it. You shouldn’t squash emotions. It would also be unwise to disregard them all together. A strong Dom would allow their sub to discuss these feelings and work through them.

That’s what any relationship does – because shit happens. But it’s how we process the mess of life that defines our relationships – it can strengthen them, or it can ruin them.

Just remember, a submissive needs to feel wanted – and fuel if you fuel that need – you will feed needed. A Dom needs to feel needed – if you fuel that need – you will feel wanted.

:: History of BDSM iii

Moving to the islands of the Pacific, I thought I’d share some sexual history from some of the most beautiful places on earth.

POLYNESIAN

As with many places, it can be difficult to understand sexual behavior because it’s a private matter. We learn a lot through artwork, and literature – through indirect means.

The polynesian islands were untouched by westerners for a very long time. Captain Cook made his voyage in the 1700’s along with others and they documented a lot of what they encountered.

There existed different forms of bondage and slavery, and there was a “kaup” system – an elaborate pattern of rules, and punishments that governed relationships.

The concept of marriage didn’t exist. Ellis in 1782 said “there are no people in the world who indulge themselves more in their sensual appetites than these “ of the Hawaiians.

I like the sound of that.

Because of the climate, nudity was more of a norm than seen as being sexual. They played in the water without clothes, they surfed naked. Nudity was also a symbol of death or punishment, of submission or an appeal for forgiveness as well as a sign of respect. Whoever met the King was required to unrobe themselves and lie down prostrate.

People of the same class were allowed any type of sexual behavior. The same word for “orgasm” also means “joy” – pretty cool.

There weren’t any restrictions on positions. Shared masturbation, sex between uncommitted couples, having multiple lovers were all acceptable. Sex was good and healthy for everyone – young and old.

Sexual exclusivity wasn’t practiced except for maybe 20% of the Polynesian cultures. Relationships came and went. Having sex with someone else wasn’t a cause for separation, because holding spite or malice towards another was looked down upon.

Women often had sex because it would be rude to say no. It was a compliment to be asked to have sex. There wasn’t “rape”, but there did exist “romantic abduction”.

Because the Polynesian cultures didn’t have any stigmas about sex, marriage, and other related matters, they found a freedom from many of the fears we often face today. They instructed not only how the “hows” but also the “whys”. Sex wasn’t about what was to be avoided – but a passionate act between two people shared themselves with each other.

:: Gentlemans Rules #2

 

Yes, I realize that it’s nearly identical to #1 with the use of “character”, but it’s important to remember that your character is what people remember you by – so Rule #1 is a reminder for how to live, and Rule #2 reminds us on how others view us really living Rule #1.

Your character is your icon. It’s your logo – it reflects who you truly are. It’s not something that can be purchased, it’s something that’s crafted by an artesian and is honed throughout life.

It is from our character that we live – and it is our character that others remember.

:: BDSM Poster – Safe

 

:: History of BDSM ii

Continuing from earlier, I’m moving to the East as we see how the history of sexuality has led us to today.

INDIA

India has played a major role in sexuality, notably because of the Kama Sutra. I’ve been to India, and I can tell you they are still a very sexual people.

The earlier attitudes of Indian sexuality comes from Hindu, Buddhist, and Janism texts as well as the Vedas. They speak of sex, marriage, and rituals.

Sex was primarily seen as a mutual duty between lovers (primarily husband and wife) – each were to please each other mutually and equally. Sex was typically a private affair (even though there is voyerism in their artwork). 

The Kama Sutra is probably the single most important sexual piece of literature ever written. The Kama Sutra had elaborate positions and discussions about sex.

It also mentioned allowable ways and places to strike ones lover.

But as the English and Islamic cultures arrived in India, sexuality was given an adverse blow – sex became a duty.

Still, there remained a tantric philosophy that lingered – that sex was a sacred act, one that was part of our spiritual journey. Some elements of tantric sexuality avoid ejaculation.

That part sucks.

 

 

JAPAN

Sexuality is treated as a central role in many parts of Japanese history. Japan has also had a strong history of being a ‘shame society’ – where honor is most important. This brings a fresh air of service and humility that we often miss in the West.

Originally, the Geisha wasn’t a prostitute – she was a trained woman in serving a more holistic approach to sexuality – she knew the arts, music, and conversation.

Women were seen as subservient to men in most respects, though it’s difficult to view their culture through Western culture. The service wasn’t necessarily degrading. 

Japan also gave us the tea ceremony, bonsai, shibari, food play, and the art of bukkake among other fetishes.

 

 

CHINA

One of the books I’ve had in my library for years is called the I Ching, in it, sexual intercourse is one of the main ways to understand the world. Heaven it seemed is said to have sex with the earth.

Sex of epic proportions!

China as a long history of moments of sexism. But their literature shows an interest in affecttion, unabashed sexuality and all around open mindedness about sex.

In Taoism, sex is a joining energy – something that provides health and wholeness. Dating back to the Han dynasty, sexual activity was seen as a spiritual activity. 

While women were typically given a place of inferiority, don’t be mistaken – Taoism requires an equal pleasing for both partners.

Confucianism seemed to squash all that though, making sex more of a taboo topic in public life – but taosim remained in the background, eventually springing up in Japan where it grew stronger.

This last picture is from a sex museum – a little bondage on a big cock!

:: GENTLEMAN’S RULE #1

GENTLEMAN’S RULE #1: CHARACTER 1st

I’ve been a man of many styles over the years. I’ve never been “fashionable” – I’ve not been one to wear today’s trends or styles – but regardless of what your style is, the first rule is simple – Character comes first. Everything else follows. You can have the best suit in the world and know how to tie an Eldredge Knot tie, but if your character sucks, then it’s all worthless. You can be poor and wear nothing but white t-shirts and blue jeans and if your character is on point, your the man of the hour.

Character First

---

 

:: History of BDSM

Before I get into looking at a few things, I would like to preface them by saying that BDSM as we know it today isn’t that old; however, there are splashes of it throughout history. And while there was a lot of actual sexual slavery going on – I do not condone anything that isn’t consensual.

Sexuality seems to have always been an area of life that the masses felt one way, while a minority felt another. In my opinion, it’s something to be celebrated and participated in with jubilation and reverence both.

Back to history.

If you look at ancient cultures you will see some elements of dominance, sadism, bondage – even if they might have been used differently. I think it’s interesting to look back at it. I think it’s interesting how sexuality has changed from culture to culture and see how it evolved.

I hope it’s a fun journey. I’ll start with Egypt, Greece, and Rome.

Egypt

As with most ancient cultures, there is probably more that is created than actual. So many want you to believe different things, they tell stories to push their agenda – and never cite any sources.

In Egypt, there are only a few depictions such as the Erotic Turin, and there are some discussions in the Book of the Dead, as well as in their mythology.

Is she squirting?                                                             Pull that Hair!

 

       

 

 

It is understood that sex wasn’t taboo as it is in the West today. Sex was important – from birth to death, and rebirth. There are stories of necrophlia and sex with gods. Sex was believed to take place in this life, and the life to come. There are tales of adultery, masterbation, exhibitionsim and others. 

The noble class (as usual) had a wide range of customs. There are specific articles of clothing worn. Ramses had 8 wives and over 100 concubines. And there’s plenty of stories about the Pharoah’s masturbating into the Nile too.

That’s what I’m going to do when I visit Egypt – come into the Nile.

GREEK

To the Greeks, sex was enjoyed between people who respected each other. It was to be enjoyed freely to the point of realtionships between a man and a younger male partner – don’t be mistaken, these were the same Greeks of Sparta and Athens who could kick your ass.

The male body was especially glorified in artwork. The Greeks loved sculpting themselves in the buff. It’s obvious by some of the artwork, that the Greeks loved cock – look at the size of that thing!

Aristotle once asked why people are ashamed to admit they want sex – in other words, if it’s something you want – then explore it. It’s not that the Greeks didn’t like sex – they loved it. But even today, many people regard sex as a taboo topic. Some things don’t change.

Sex was celebrated. There were slaves of both sexes, concubines, prostitutes, marriage. It was thought that Zeus created us originally as ‘whole’ – i.e. no male or females, and then when he got pissed off, he split us up, and since then each half has been looking for the other half.

The Greeks also enjoyed a good whipping.

 

ROME

The Romans drifted a little from the Greeks – sex was emphasized within marriage – even as there were countless whorehouses and orgies and by the look of their artwork, they enjoyed pretty much everything with anyone. Prostitution was legal, and the body was glorified in art. Artwork began to change towards the end of the second century BC and it became rarer to see male nudity.

Many of the Ceasers were sex-crazed including castrating their partners and marrying them, having sex with their mothers and sisters, sexual encounters with very young boys and girls, and orgies of epic proportions. It would follow that if the Ceasers enjoyed sex in this way – that many others did as well. Certainly, Pompeii is one such example where sexuality was at the forefront.

Sexual slavery was common place. It was a core feature of Roman slavery. Slaves were property under Roman law and the owner could use them as they desired. Sexual service was expected from the slaves and concubines.

 

The Romans enjoyed anal sex with men or boys – where they “took it like a woman”. They liked a woman on top. They fucked prostitutes, and liked oral sex as well. Voyerism and group sex is common in artwork as well. Mastrubation was seen as a lesser release but still something to partake of.

 

This is an old oil lamp on the left – when blow jobs make in onto your household lighting pieces, you know what’s going on when the lights go out!

I really enjoy their artwork. I lived near Pompeii and visited a couple of times, you could feel the difference in the air as you walk around and wondered exactly what it was like back then.